(Nothing good happens after 2 am.)
I wipe away the rest of the chocolate,
from the corner of his mouth.
He tastes of sweetness and cigarettes.
And me.
Wrapped up in our satin sheets,
Entwined, I can hear his heartbeat-
as it races up when I touch him.
Or maybe, it tries to match-
the rhythm of mine.
I kiss away all traces of our love,
my presence-
in his life.
He tidies up to go back.
To her.
Until next time.
You are a dream that I have seen long enough
And now I think it is time
to wake up.
I bury you inside me
Deep
Like a secret
I do not wish to tell the world.
You bury me-
in the arms
of your cheap whore
and whisper out my name
as you erase me
from memory
wrapped in her hold
I wish to bid you adieu
But I do not have the words
That could compensate
for stealing away all of yours
I wish to kiss you goodbye
One last time
Would I be able to break away?
Once your lips touched mine
I wish to hug you close
Breathe in your scent
Will it haunt me how familiar,
You will always smell?
I wish to tell you I loved you
With all my heart
And always will
But I know these words would kill you again.
I will never take another’s name
Nor ever really give him my heart
Its tied to you
In secret matrimony
That was conducted
In the dark
I will wear him like a disguise
To beguile and impress
The world.
But it’s you whose scent
I’ll forever carry
No matter where I’ll go
I pick lint of his coat,
The tiny fleck bugs me.
I wish I could pick away.
At his memories too.
And erase all traces-
of us.
So I could disappear-
Without any guilt;
Of abandoning him,
Or breaking my promises.
I wish I could wipe out,
All the hurt I had caused.
The pain I’d inflicted.
Unintentionally,
But on purpose too…
To somehow incriminate him,
for all the pain I’d once been put through..
By someone else.
He became my victim
The one who was my savior
I made him;
Both.
And he let me-
Because he was in love.
These walls must have a hell of a story to tell
Whispered secrets like the fading colors on these walls, all but forgotten
Excited screams and shouts of little children playing
The bold botched color red and maroon show them all
I breathe it all in, the history, they taste of years long gone
They taste salty, necessary, of mystery
I try to capture it all in my mind, in just one photograph
But I fail
These old walls guard their secrets just as well today
They keep them buried deep, safe.
His teeth dig into my flesh,
They shall scar my porcelain neck.
His excitement heightens as I protest,
Adding to his pleasure.
My hands fight him, clawing at thin air
As he thrusts himself into me
he ignores them.
He steals away everything-
My sanity, my purity
Me.
He robs me blind
For the sake of his completion
And his pleasure
And his desire.
He takes everything from me.
And in return?
My treacherous body betrays me
It buckles underneath him
Struggling for its own release.
While I go through another writer’s block ( hopefully temporary this time) here’s something by a very dear friend of mine. (Thank you!)
There was something unusual about that night. 8 cups of coffee, and there I was, tossing all night long, trying to come to terms with my demons.
I had always worked so hard to hear and understand others- that I had completely forgotten about my own feelings, and needs.
I had given away so much in love, that there was nothing left for me.
Oh, how my soul now begs me to return to the truth, to the light, and to the power I had left somewhere far behind.
My chest is heavy with all the pain I have been holding on for so long, it wants to be freed. It wants to break those walls that has caged it for what seems like an eternity.
I got out of bed when I could no longer take it. It was time to lace up the armor, and break down these walls with my own bare hands.
From this day onwards, I was to be free in my own wildness, belonging to no man and no city.
I write what I think but do not say. I write what I feel but do not express. I write to let the demons inside me escape.
To en light the world with the hidden treasures of love peace & tranquility.
Smidgens
